Posted by: pendrops | November 22, 2008

next time you’re pregnant


As I embark on my tenth week of pregnancy, few things have really surprised me along the journey so far.

I knew I would feel nauseous and tired and irritable.

I knew I would have to endure the uninvited advice of women who choose to share only their horror stories of pregnancy, birth and parenting.

I knew I would have to tolerate the annoying “It’s going to be hard” gazes of weary parents, to which I long to say, “If you think you’re the first person who’s told me parenting is to going to be hard, get in line.”

Most of all, I knew I would love this child before I ever saw his or her face. I knew I would cry when I saw the little heart beat on the monitor. I knew I would read and sing to him or her before ears were even formed.

But what I didn’t expect, what I could have never anticipated, what surprised me most were the men.

“Watch out, there. The weight’s easier to put on than it is to take off,” one acquaintance chuckled as I passed by him at the grocery store.

“And remember, you’re not really eating for two…that’s a myth,” another said as I hovered over turkey and mashed potatoes one evening.

There have been other comments – infuriating, moronic, dimwitted comments – by male strangers in regard to how big (or not big) I should get as well as how often and what I should be eating.

Now thankfully, having fully recovered from anorexia and after dealing with many of my body image issues, these asinine comments don’t leave me one bit insecure about my beautiful pregnant body, my healthy eating habits or my current weight (especially since I haven’t weighed myself in almost two years).

What their comments do is leave me enraged at the expectations men – in general – have for women. Their flippant statements about my body, my weight, my eating habits are quite telling and clearly reflect a bigger issue: the unreasonable standard set for women – pregnant or not.

Unfortunately, Western culture idolizes the stick-figure, paper-thin, two-dimensional women on magazine covers and movie screens. Somehow we have come to worship the airbrushed, perfected, concave stomachs and non-touching upper thighs of 88-pound models and celebrities. But, get this: 100% God’s honest objective truth be told, women were not created to look like porn stars and emaciated supermodels.

Believe it or not, this unrealistic and unrelenting expectation has crept even into pregnancy, where it is actually good and right and beautiful to have extra curves and changing shape and, yes, even an increased appetite (heaven forbid).

I don’t have the answer to this issue. I don’t know how to change the course our appearance-crazed, waiflike-obsessed society is on. I just know one thing: I love my pregnant, growing body. It is absolutely gorgeous. And you know what else I love? I love the new foods I’m trying, foods I haven’t eaten in years simply because I got in a rut of eating familiar favorites. Foods like avocados, Idaho potatoes, sunflower seeds, green olives, chopped walnuts, black beans and brown rice. Yeah, with healthy, vitamin-rich foods like that in the cupboard I’m gonna blow up as big as a house, aren’t I, fellas?

Here’s a deal for you, guys…next time you’re pregnant, let’s talk about your eating habits. About how much weight you shouldn’t gain. About how full your shopping cart is. About your cravings. About how you’re not eating for two. Yeah, we’ll do that.

Next time you’re bloody pregnant.



  1. It’s an opinion like a virus too. I imagine those men have had pregnant wives/girlfriends and heard from them how dissatisfied they were to be gaining weight through a pregnancy and didn’t reassure them that it’s okay. That as long as they are healthy what does it matter? The guys are probably agreeing that it IS a terrible thing! Then off goes Hubbie taking the topic of conversation out with him, and just passing the paranoia onto another pregnant stranger in the street!

    Glad to hear that you are rising above the lunacy!

    Lola x

  2. A growing pregnant body truly is a glorious sight! I believe it’s feminity the way God truly designed it. I’m so glad that you’re not listening to ingnorant, rude men. What’s happening within you is a miracle, nothing short. God designed out bodies to do just this. Nearly everything about a females body is created for this purpose. You are beautiful. I’m glad that you know it. 🙂

  3. After recovering from the shock that a man would have the nerve to even mention weight gain to a pregnant woman, I applaud your excitement for the coming months. You are beautiful and I’m sure will look even more so as the months progress. (It’s a good thing Grandma Joan didn’t hear any lack of wisdom words!)

  4. Men can be arses, can’t they?! Hmph! The nerve!

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