Posted by: pendrops | February 26, 2008

still hold hands


I watched an old couple hobble slowly through the café where I worked today. There wasn’t anything particularly notable about them. They were just an old couple, like so many old couples I see when I’m out and about.

But then he gave her his hand. Neither of them needed it. They hobbled. They were slow. But they were balanced. Her hand in his was not a substitute for a cane, a crutch or a walker.

He gave her his hand in love. They must have been in their very late seventies.

Jason and I still hold hands. Though it feels like we’ve known each other forever, like there never was a life before our life together, the fact is we have only been married one year and eleven months, give or take a few days. It’s normal that we would still hold hands on our way into the auto shop to get tires rotated. It’s natural that we would make out in the salsa-and-marinara aisle at the grocery store. It’s expected that we stop what we’re doing to dance in the kitchen. We’re newlyweds.

But in all this newly wedded bliss, I have often wondered, with some fear and sadness, what might happen when years and kids, sickness and circumstances take their toll on our bodies, our minds, our souls. Will we still hold hands, I have asked.

And this precious, wrinkled pair gave me the answer I think I have always known. An answer that spoke far louder than doubts and naysayers.

And he will still get the door for me, too, I thought, smiling as the old man opened the passenger door for his white-haired bride.



  1. ah man, I wish Sarah would make out with me in the Salsa and Marinera aisle… but she’s got this thing about making others uncomfortable, but at least she does hold my hand too.

    I understand that twinge of fear, and it makes me think of a series of memories.

    I remember walking home from school, in junior high, “tight rope” walking the curb along the road and I thought to myself “I wonder if I’ll still do this in highschool”

    I remember walking home from highschool, still tight rope walking and I thought “I wonder if I’ll do this in college”

    I remember jumping from parking curb to parking curb in college and I wondered “Hmm, will I do this in my twenties”.

    I just turned 30 and guess what I do when I’m on the phone with Sarah in a parking lot or along a quite street.

    It may not be all that relevant, but hey!

  2. Very relevant! I love it! You have reminded us all that this line of thinking doesn’t just apply to marriage, but to every aspect of life.

    There are some behaviors, habits, ways of thinking and relating that we do well to shed like old skin. And then there are other habits and traits and beliefs that we must, with all our might, cling to till the very end.

    I think jumping on parking curbs and holding hands with your soul-mate fall into the latter category.

    Thanks for the insight, Munsy.

  3. I think it is all about keeping the curious kid alive inside by staying interested in and curious about my wife, the world, and the God who made us.

    And you can bet your sweet ass I’ll still be holding your hand and opening the door for you when we are 84 and wrinkled.


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